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1. |
Billy and the Big C
02:36
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I was small town boy with a city dream
Wanted to be a star on the silver screen
Just Play my guitar and ride horses
A singing cowboy
ropin’ rider
lady killer, “the boy’s fire”
“The boy’s on fire”
“Head west young man, while you’re still in your prime”
You got the talent not the time”
So I moved on out to Los Angeles
Where they pay to play and smoke angel dust
I never seen so many assholes in my life
They like the EDM and the GHB
They got a DJ spinnin at the grocery
I’m just a simple fool with an old guitar and some silly rhymes
Got my headshots, told my folks I was fine
I got the talent not the time
Then I moved on out to New York City
Where the girls play rough so the boys stay pretty
They’ll tie you ooo and they’ll knock you down
Got me a gig at a hotel bar
Where the manager said I could play my guitar
For a twenty bucks, the beer on tap, and a burger and fries
Played my heart out every other Monday Night
I Got the talent not the time
Then i went on back to Pennsylvania
Where all my old friends became strangers
I was pretty sure we had nothing left in common
but we told our stories well into the night
same old stories, felt kinda right
til one of them fuckers just had to ask me, “How’s your life”
some say I got 6 months, some say I got 9.
I got the talent not the time
Doctors, they got a funny way of tellin a man he’s dyin
“I got the talent not the time”
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2. |
Lemonade Stand
02:06
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Lemonade Stand
I need some money babe, you need some money babe
What the hell we gonna do?
I need some money babe, you need some money babe
To make our hollywood dreams come true-ue-ue
What the hell we gonna do?
We can open up a lemonade stand
Pay naked teenagers to swear to God we squeeze it in the morning
Wo o o
We can open up a lemonade stand
on Hollywood and vine
Use fancy words like local and organic
We’re so local and organic O-O
O O Well I know You know
It’s only country time
I know you know we’re always drunk on wine at work
Yeah I know you know we added LSD
Yeah I know our friends drink for free
We can open up a lemonade stand
make an app, call it, “Order-While-Drivin”
Hope you’ve got a doctor and a lawyer
We can open up a lemonade stand
Post our shits on instagram
So we can sell more yellow sugar water
charge YUPPY angelinos seven dollar
O O Well I know You know
It’s only country time
I know you know we’re always drunk on wine at work
Yeah I know you know we added LSD
Yeah I know our friends drink for free
We can open up a lemonade stand
Pay naked teenagers to swear to God we squeeze it in the morning
Wo o o
We can open up a lemonade stand
on Hollywood and vine
Use fancy words like local and organic
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3. |
Directors
02:59
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Let’s head west to tinsletown hotwire the old man’s car
We’ll write the press ‘bout our arrival
I’ll play Stanley ‘hind the scene you’ll be my shining star
My Shelly Duvall
But we’ll need more than love my honey, a beat up ford and your momma’s rent money
To ensure our survival
I’ll lie cheat steal kill. Local boys won’t but this man will
I won’t give up til i die
We sold off our clothes
Fixed our teeth and noses
moved mountains jacked on mole hills of camels & cocaine
We became PAs
2nd ADs in the DGA
Best boys and Lead men
We can’t all be directors
We can’t all be directors after all
Let’s play rough in tinseltown, hang puppets from their strings
And give the editors their angles
Cast me couch me, anything, step on me and repeat
Then soft sex with the background
We took off our clothes
Hacked off our noses
moved mountains jacked on mole hills of camels & cocaine
We became PAs
2nd ADs in the DGA
Best boys and Lead men
We can’t all be directors
We can’t all be directors after all
I don’t wanna die in Southern California
Maybe you and I
Leave without warning yeah
What have we got to lose
but ourselves
Oh baby
I don’t wanna die in Southern California
Maybe you and I
leave in the morning yeah
Gary had a lot of good things to say about Pittsburgh
camels & cocaine
Talking
We can’t all be directors
We can’t all be directors after all
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4. |
Entertain Me
02:19
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I don’t know how to fall in love
with anybody who loves me
I just know how to fall in love
with girls beyond my grasp
But i see something in your eyes
something i don’t often see yeah
Baby
entertain me
Let’s make out for just a little while
there’s a timer app on my cell phone
We don’t need to tell anyone
we don’t need to be all alone
yeah i see something in your eyes
something i don’t often see yeah
Baby
entertain me
Do you really wanna fall in love?
Do you really wanna die, in some else’s arms?
Do you really wanna feel an ideal fall apart?
Do you really wanna break my heart
Maybe we can still fall in love
just until the morning
I’ve got issues I’ve got scars
consider this your warning
But i see something in your eyes
something i don’t often see yeah
Baby
entertain me
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5. |
I'm Drunk, Let's Fuck
02:05
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I’m Drunk, Let’s Fuck
When I was turning 25
I headed out the bar
To celebrate the fact that my life was over
But that’s the night
I met my wife
An’ she grabbed me by the heart
When she said these 4 words
“I’m Drunk
Let’s fuck”
We can do it in the back of my pickup truck
I got few tricks most young men never seen, before
“I’m Drunk
Let’s fuck”
not lookin for love
just lookin for a lover
So you better walk away if you think that you’ll want more
And she said yippeki a
I said yippeki o
She said this isn’t love
I said baby I know
I’m Drunk
Let’s fuck
Wanna make my day?, you feeling lucky punk?
I got few tricks most young men never seen
I looked into those big brown eyes my 25th birthday surprise
Things like this don’t happen much to guys look me
So i asked her to repeat herself
and she grabbed me by the heart
When she said these 4 words
“I’m Drunk
Let’s fuck”
We can do it in the back of my pickup truck
I got few tricks most young men never seen, before
“I’m Drunk
Let’s fuck”
not lookin for love
just lookin for a lover
So you better walk away if you think that you’ll want more
And she said yippeki a
I said yippeki o
She said this isn’t love
I said baby I know
I’m Drunk
Let’s fuck
Wanna make my day?, you feeling lucky punk?
I got few tricks most young men never seen
Oh I got few tricks most young men never seen
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6. |
Didja Getcha
01:59
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Didja Gitcha (Deuteronomy 17:2-7)
Didja Getcha ideas from the bible
Yeah I got my ideas from the bible too
‘Bout what girls can wear, when I can swear
And what I can do to you
Didya getya ideas from the bible
Yeah I got my ideas from the bible too
right now the bible’s telling me to kill you
You look so surprised
That funny light in your eyes
Maybe you just need to read a little deeper
Didya Getya ideas from the bible
Yeah I got my ideas from the bible too
right now the bible’s telling me to kill you
MIDSECTION
I’m sure the Torah’s fine. Koran OK Alright
I listen to the Book Of Mormon most every night DING DONG
Didya Getya ideas from the bible
Yeah I got my ideas from the bible too
Bout what you can suck and who we can fuck
An’ what i can do to you
Didya Getya ideas from the bible
Yeah I got my ideas from the bible too
right now the bible’s tellin’ me to kill you
You look so surprised
That funny light in your eyes
Maybe you just need to read a little deeper (deeper)
W’ can’t all be right
And we won’t all survive
But I’ll make your trip to hell a little easier
Didya Getya ideas from the bible
Yeah I got my ideas from the bible too
right now the bible’s telling me to kill you
right now the bible’s telling me to kill you
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7. |
Angie's Eyes
01:55
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ANGIE’S EYES
Now every time she looks at me
with pale blue eyes
I wish she hadn’t seen the things I done
oh I hit him with a hammer good
threw him in a hole I dug
Then I shot him twice with Daddy’s Gun
O O O
she knows I’m evil
she knows there’s blood on my hands
but there’s love in my heart
forgives the things I can’t forget
lives her life without regret(s)
She even helped me bury Billy Shaw
now every time she looks at me
with pale blue eyes
reminds me of the evil things I’ve done
oh there’s gamblin’ cussin cigarettes
hooking kids on crystal meth
But I’ll never shed a tear for Billy Shaw
o o o
she knows I’m evil
she knows there’s blood on my hands
but there’s love in my heart
forgives the things I can’t forget
lives her life without regret(s)
She even helped me bury Billy Shaw
late last night to my surprise
I gouged out Angie’s Pale Blue Eyes
she knows I’m evil
she knows there’s blood on my hands
but there’s love in my heart
forgives the things I can’t forget
lives her life without regret(s)
She even helped me bury Billy Shaw
Yeah she Even helped me bury Billy Shaw
Yeah I’ll bury her beside ‘ol Billy Shaw
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8. |
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9. |
Start a Band
02:48
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She decided that we should get engaged this coming christmas
I decided that I should spread my wings and start a band
She decided on a destination wedding in Hawaii
I decided the band would write 10 songs make some shirts and go on tour
we make plans and shit just happens
polaroids look nothing like our lives
we were just some fucked up kids
passed out drunk in Michigan
I wish that I could do it all again
she decided that I would look like Bond in a white tuxedo
I decided the band would never wear any other color but black
She decided that we would have her best friend play piano
I decided that i would have my better best friend Michael play guitar
we make plans and shit just happens
polaroids look nothing like our lives
we were just some fucked up kids
passed out drunk in Michigan
I wish that I could do it all again
she decided that if we had a son we’d name him Aaron
I decided that my last name would be Demon, Dark, or Dungeon
she decided that if we had a girl we’d call her Mabel
i decided that i would call my band...the holy angel fire
we make plans and shit just happens
polaroids look nothing like our lives
we were just some fucked up kids
passed out drunk in Michigan
I wish that I could do it all again
She decided that I should spread my wings and start a band
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10. |
Cinderella Dress
01:41
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Hey Uncle
I wanna be a princess
so don’t buy me stupid Nancy Drews for christmas
All I want from you
is a brand new Cinderella dress
I said Everything is wonderful
Everything is fine
livin life like a little queen
like everything is mine
Got you wrapped around my finger
I pull the strings
of your heart
Hey Uncle
I’m Hungry
and your silly sister said you’d give me money
I’d pay my way, but I confess
there ain’t no pockets
in my brand new cinderella dress
I said Everything is wonderful
Everything is fine
livin life like a little queen
like everything is mine
Got you wrapped around my finger
I pull the strings
of your heart
Hey Uncle
Do you see what I see
A better version of the greatest gift you just got for me
This will be my last request
Won’t you buy for me
that brand new Cinderella dress
I promise this will be my last request
Won’t you buy for me that dress
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11. |
Sex'86
01:03
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Hey little baby wanna rock tonight?
All my lovin’ been wound up tight
would you light my dynamite
Alright alright alright
Take you on back to the kissin pond
Make sweet love ‘til the break of dawn
Let’s take it off, so we can get it on
alright alright alright
Little lady hope you understand
Little lady wanna be your man
kinda lika bein reprimanded
Just don’t be too heavy handed
WHIP CRACK
You play Bo and i’ll play Luke
We’ll grind along to that distant juke
You’re breakin’ laws in them Daisy Dukes
Alright alright alright
paint you a picture
Write you a song
As long as you ain’t got bloomers on
Take me back to that kissin’ pond
Alright alright alright
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12. |
My Name Is Todd
02:11
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I am just a simple man
Standing on a stage
Trying not to fuck this up
The song jonathan wrote about me
He thought it would be funny
For all to hear
Me singing a song about me
For all my peers
My name is Todd
I’m in the band man
And I’ve never been so happy, happy in my life
My name is Todd-od-od
I’m in the band man
And I swear I’ll be the very best ba-----ssist that I can
I am just an Ohio boy moved
Moved out to LA
Tallest man on the silver screen
Taller than I was yesterday
Born to play the 6 string
Now i’ve only 4
I’ll play this bass like a fucking guitar
And I’ll never get bored
My name is Todd
I’m in the band man
And I’ve never been so happy, happy in my life
My name is Todd-od-od
I’m in the band man
And I swear I’ll be the very best bassist that I can
My name is Todd
I’m in the band man
And I’ve never been so happy, happy in my life
My name is Todd-od-od
I’m in the band man
And I swear I’ll be the very best bassist that I can
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13. |
Astro Zombies (Misfits)
02:17
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14. |
Baby Jane
01:48
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15. |
Assholes 2
02:31
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You say you love me but I feel the hatred
Now love isn’t love if it’s not universal
You say potato I say tomato
You sleep with my sister, I’ll murder you brother
That really escalated fast
woo
Oh God will not save us from godly men
No God will not save us from those assholes we call facebook friends
Driving electric impresses the millenials
Model for molly if you have a swimming pool
Everyone’s equal, when everyone’s loaded
We’re hire the homeless to deports the hipsters
2 birds 1 stone
Woo
Oh God will not save us from godly men
No God will not save us from those assholes we call facebook friends
You voted for Trump just to see what would happen
I made my I Voted sticker in Photoshop
Talking to Jesus can make you feel crazy
Deceiving believers has always been easy!!
woo?
Oh God will not save us from godly men
No God will not save us from those assholes we call facebook friends
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16. |
Sweet Michelle
02:56
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Those words didn’t come out right
“Take me home and hurt me tonight”
We were cruisin in my gold chevelle
High as a kite with my sweet Michelle
Oooo
hit a tree going 85
Oooo
They say I’m lucky to be alive
I don’t really give a good goddamn about these motherfuckers
They say I’m gonna die
alone behind these walls
I don’t really give a good goddamn about local authorities
An asshole with a badge can’t break my balls
Momma says we’re livin in paradise
without my love it’s like a living hell
Serving life in penitentiary
The won’t shine here in my prison cell
Ooooo
I’m sorry for what I done
Ooooo
Sweet Michelle I’m coming home
I don’t really give a good goddamn about these motherfuckers
They say I’m gonna die
alone behind these walls
I don’t really give a good goddamn about local authorities
An asshole with a badge can’t break my balls
Momma says we’re livin in paradise
without my love it’s like a living hell
Serving life in penitentiary
The won’t shine here in my prison cell
Ooooo
I’m sorry for what I done
Ooooo
My Sweet Michelle I’m coming home
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17. |
Horse
03:23
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Campfire Cassettes Los Angeles, California
Campfire Cassettes is a 4 piece party that writes short, fucked up songs, for short fucked up people. So if you like rough sex, hard drugs and aren't afraid of a little blood, you're in the right spot. May we die in our sleep with a smile on our face.
Campfire Cassettes recommends:
Just listen
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