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1. |
My Sister Mary
01:48
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my sister Mary got everything
she got my mother eyes and her beautiful tits
my sister Mary got everything I got my father's chin
and his invisible lips
my sister Mary got everything
she got a brand new horse when she was 17
my sister Mary got everything
when I was seventeen I got an STD
so fuck you if you're beautiful
if you hop out of bed
because the universe loves you
fuck you if you're beautiful
if you look in the mirror
and you like what you see
my sister Mary got everything
she was the queen of the prom
and on the cheerleading squad
my sister Mary got everything
I worked at Dairy Queen
and had a Burger King bod
my sister Mary got every
now men just give her money
to vacation in europe
my sister Mary got everything
when I went all the way
I had a layover in Phoenix
so fuck you if you're beautiful
if you hop out of bed
because the universe loves you
fuck you if you're beautiful
if you look in the mirror
and you like what you see
and fuck you if you're beautiful
if turned 19 in the last 10 years
fuck you if your beautiful
if you're falling in love with anybody but me
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2. |
Fuckin' Do
01:41
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I'll fuckin do
anything you want me to do to you
in the bedroom
in the basement
in our dungeon made for two
I'll fuckin do
anything you want me to do to you
and the only thing I ask in return
is that you be true
this aint no dress rehersal
let's take a little time for role reversal
let's become the perverts god intended us to be
I'll fuckin do
anything you want me to do to you
in the bedroom
in the basement
in our dugeon made for two
I'll fuckin do
anything you want me to do to you
and the only thing I ask in return
is that you be true
let's break into american cars
and break all their sodomy laws
let's show Indiana what we're made of
I'll fuckin do
anything you want me to do to you
in the bedroom
in the basement
in our dugeon made for two
I'll fuckin do
anything you want me to do to you
and the only thing I ask in return
is that you be true
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3. |
Coke & Viagra
01:09
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I've got 2 grams of cocaine and half a viagra
hey there little stranger how does that grab ya?
we'll stay up all night and talk if you want to
just call an ambulance if I start falling for you
what the fuck's the matter with my heart?
why am i so stupid when it comes to love and medicine?
Everything I want tears me apart
then i'm just left to fend off older men and fetishists
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4. |
Virgins
02:08
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9:30 on a Monday morn
will you go out with me?
9:30 on a Monday morn
will you go out with me?
I finally found the nerve
any chance this Friday you’re free?
9:30 on a Monday morn
will you go out with me?
we’ll do the wine and dine
ah give this boy a chance
let’s spend all my money and start us a little romance
10:30 on a wednesday mornin
finally answered me
10:30 on a wednesday mornin
finally answered me
can’t say what took her so long
but at least she did a-gree
10:30 on a wednesday mornin
finally answered me
she said Friday’s fine
that’s if you take it slow
then she made me tell a promise to her sister her momma
before she said she would go
11:30 on a friday night
she’s screamin be my man
11:30 on a friday night
screamin be my man
back seat of my daddy’s car
and i started to under-stand
11:30 on a friday night
she’s screamin be my man
we’re roundin bases fast
we’re going all the way
if there is a god in heaven
we just want to stop and thank him
for a brand new reason to live
look at us we’re gettin laid today
sometime in the middle of the night
would you be my wife
sometime in the middle of the night
would you be my wife
let me shout it out loud and proud
oh girl you just changed my life
sometime in the middle of the night
would you be my wife
she kinda laughed at me
but she kinda of smiled
and yeah it took a few years
but i finally made that lil girl mine
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5. |
Thinking Of You
01:24
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i'm making love to my vacuum cleaner
thinking of you
i'm making love to my carpet steamer
thinking of you
you left me alone just to die out in Cleveland
i don't know what else I can do
so i'm making love to my vacuum cleaner
thinking of you
lights out I close my eyes
we're alone in the dark
one flip of a switch i'm in heaven
and your back in my arms
I don't see the harm
so i'm making love to my vacuum cleaner
thinking of you
i'm making love to my carpet steamer
thinking of you
you left me alone just to die out in Cleveland
I don't know what else I can do
so i'm making love to my vacuum cleaner
thinking of you
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6. |
Diamonds
01:48
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I've got diamonds in my pockets
i've got a Walgreens on my back
I found an old cassette tape of X T C i'm gonna cut it up with heroine
a bag of MDMA molly may I kiss you when we peak
I have everything to make you cum and scream
baby I spared no expense, but I don't have you
who am I gonna get high with
baby when you coming home
I've got diamonds in my pocket
I've got a RITE AID on my back
I've got a dozen 8 balls, dope for speed balls, some ice I made myself
a shot a bullet yesterday we'll ride the rails todays we'll ride them east to west
I have everything that to make you cum and scream
with a G19 there's no expense, but I don't have you
who am I gonna get high with
baby when you coming home
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7. |
Kelly Lebrock
02:29
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i’ve been alone for so long
been several years since i’d seen the doc
then you came along
and swept me off my feet
you’re my kelly lebrock
you love who i am
a hideous a puzzle of 10 other men
stitches and scars
it’s nice to have something in common
if you were just one woman
i’d say you were the one
you’re my kelly lebrock
i can see it your eyes
i can see in your smile
you’re the one he made for me
i can see it your eyes
i can see in your smile
you’re the one he made for me
we’ll move into town
get some tattoos and just try to blend in
we’ll die your hair brown
i’ll lose some weight so those skinny jeans fit
and i’ll get a job
then we’ll go to the mall
and dress you like kelly lebrock
i can see it your eyes
i can see in your smile
you’re the one he made for me
i can see it your eyes
i can see in your smile
you’re the one he made for me
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8. |
Fuck You Like A Ukulele
00:59
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My girlfriend bought a fucking ukulele
she brought it home
she gave it a name
she plays it daily
now all night long
she plays the same goddamn song
My girlfriend bought a fucking ukulele
oh yeah she plays nine inch nails
posts it on her vlog
she's in our bedroom screaming “fuck you like an animal”
oh yeah she plays nine inch nails
and posts it on her vlog
“i wanna feel you from the inside”
My girlfriend bought a fucking ukulele
she brought it home
she gave it a name
she plays it daily
now all night long
she plays the same goddamn song
My girlfriend bought a fucking ukulele
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9. |
One More Season
01:26
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last night our love affair ended
and my favorite show got cancelled
i'm not quite sure I can survive
So I'm sending off 2 copies of this letter
since the situations are similar
i'm looking forward to both replays.
I need one more season
give me a reason why this can't continue
There's so many loose ends and so much left unsaid I think we all need some closure
i'd settle for a spinoff a made for TV movie or just something for Netflix
I've been your fan since the show began, oh Sunday nights will never be the same.
last night our love affair ended
and my favorite show got cancelled
i'm not quite sure I can survive
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10. |
Couple Of The Year
01:54
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My Dear
The passion is gone
This honeymoon's over
My love
We had a good run
But life went on longer than I planned
I'll be listening to headphones
in our spare bedroom
the one I've been sleeping in for most of the year
And you
You'll be running the vaccum
over clean carpet
To drown out the silence and the tears
My dear
what ever happened to us
We looked happy in pictures (didn't we)
My love
We had so much fun
They swore we were the couple of the year
I'll be listening to headphones
in our spare bedroom
the one I've been sleeping in for most of the year
And you
You'll be running the vaccum
over clean carpet
To drown out the silence and the tears
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11. |
Exodus
02:04
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send me off to therapy
fill me full of chemistry
can’t change my biology
or the man i really am
scream until your face is red
verses from old testaments
make a wage but never change
the man i really am
with you
don't tell me love is anything but right,
'cause everybody knows that we're all equal in his sight
so let down your guard and maybe stay the night
'cause everybody knows he's fast asleep all day and through the night
our nonparticipating god
bible based psychology
mumbling on our hands and knees
failing our society
and the man i really am
so please don't lay your hands on me
but darling put your arms around me
look into these eyes and see
the man i really am
with you
don't tell me love is anything but right,
'cause everybody knows knows that we're all equal in his sight
so let down your guard and maybe stay the night
'cause everybody knows he's fast asleep all day and through the night
our nonparticipating god
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12. |
Gather Around
03:34
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Everybody gather around it's the end
They say I'm dying
Everybody gather around it's the end
The tests are in and the doctors say
they'll bury me in a year
Everybody gather around it's the end
Did I miss the point?
Don't wait til the end
To say you love me
don't wait til the end
to tell me that you care
and don't til we're high
to forgive me
there's really no time
no time to spare
did I miss the point?
Don't wait til the end
Everybody gather around it's the end Today's my day to die
Everybody gather around it's the end
The tests were wrong and the doctors say
they'll bury me in a week
Everybody gathers around in the end
did I miss the point?
don't wait til the end
To say you love me
don't wait til the end
to tell me that you care
and don't til we're high
to forgive me
there's really no time
no time to spare
did I miss the point?
Don't wait til the end
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13. |
Her Dog
01:17
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There's a small dog living in my heart
For 16 months he's torn that place apart
and every time I think I'm in control of him
He climbs up on my bed and shit's on it again
I can hear him say
I don't need a god or master
funny how you think you're the owner
you're not walkin me i'm walkin you
there's an asshole living in my heart
and piece by piece he's torn that place apart
and every time I think I finally trained him
he chews up what I love and shits it back out on my bed
and then he says
I don't need a god or master
funny how you think you're the owner
you're not walkin me i'm walkin you
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14. |
Your Mother's Bed
01:43
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The best time I ever had
was on a friday night
in your mother's bed
The best time I ever had
was on a friday night
in your mother's bed
your summer came too swiftly
my summer came so hard
you moved my heart so quickly
and then you moved too far away
i'm wide awake here in los angeles
you're fast asleep in maryland
i'm down on my knees
beggin darlin please
study hard
and come
The best time I ever had
was on a friday night
in your mother's bed
The best time I ever had
was on a friday night
in your mother's bed
your summer came too swiftly
my summer came so hard
you moved my heart so quickly
and then you moved too far away
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15. |
||||
I'm gonna move away my friend
move away from all sins
from all the parties and the one night stands
i'm gonna get away from here
some place I never been
so I can do it all again
big city is a small town
when you don't pay off your loans
big city is small town
if you shove shit up your nose
big city is small town
when you're with too many girls
big city is a small town after all
So I'm gonna move away my friend
Some place I never been
where no one knows about my tendency to sin
Get me a fresh suit,
close shave and maybe change my name
so I can do it all again
big city is a small town
when you don't pay off your loans
big city is small town
if you shove shit up your nose
big city is small town
when you're with too many girls
big city is a small town after all
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16. |
Older Men
02:21
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She said I never dance with older men
It isn't you, take no offense
I handed her a drink
I thought she'd like
You see I never dance with older men
Their money, drugs, and their dark demands
I can't quite say i'm not impressed
we've all been treated worse for less
she's a victim of the heart
she's a victim of los angeles
and I know you think the fame is gonna come
but you know, that this will never be your home
He said I never dance with older men
you cannot trust their words, their hands
they'll give anything you ask for
but the better the gift the more your pay for it
I never dance with older men
they always play their silly
tell me that you love me need me
nail me to the screen and watch me bleed
he's a victim of the heart
he's a victim of los angeles
and I know you think the fame is gonna come
but you know, this will never be your home
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17. |
Waiting For Jesus
01:20
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I take my pills
I pay my bills
I sit alone here waiting for Jesus
Wondering if they deceived us into thinking he'll return
I take my pills
I pay my bills
I sit alone here waiting for eternity
waiting for messiah to return to me
I wonder, I wonder what's taking him so long
You always hear me say, he'll come back in the clouds before I ever passed away
but now that i'm a dyin
it seems like a pretty foolish thing to say
I take my pills
I pay my bills
I sit alone here waiting for Jesus
Wondering if they deceived us into thinking he'll return
I take my pills
I pay my bills
I sit alone here waiting for eternity
waiting for messiah to return to me
I wonder, I wonder what's taking him so long
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18. |
Feel
01:23
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How can I know you want to be my only lover?
How can I know that i will be your only man?
Look in my eyes and swear that you love me
Look in my eyes and hold me close and
feel my heart beating inside
please take the key, before i change my mind
I can see the odds stacked up against us
I can see every doubt in your eye
but baby no matter what happens I love you
and I won't stop until you can no longer...
feel my heart beating inside
please take the key, before i change my mind
How can I know you want to be my only lover?
How can I know that i will be your only man?
Look in my eyes and swear that you love me
Look in my eyes and hold me close and feel
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19. |
Yah's Revenge
02:41
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God, you really got revenge on all of us tonight
hurricane and tidal waves destroyed our coastal town
i'm not exactly sure what we must have said or done
my cousin John came out on Halloween, maybe god was ticked about it
hallelujah, god has shown his face again
finally took the time out to be here
hallelujah, god I guess we deserved it
maybe we'll all learn a lesson or 2
hallelujah watch our children all suffering
over and over with advertising
hallelujah it's the work of crucified
re minding us of all of his suffering
I guess we for got I guess we for got
God you really got revenge on all of us tonight
elementary school kids massacred at christmas time
i'm not exactly sure what they must have said or done
but the news reported god was pissed that we don't pray in schools no more
hallelujah, god has shown his face again
finally took the time out to be here
hallelujah, god I guess we deserved it
maybe we'll all learn a lesson or 2
hallelujah watch our children all suffering
over and over with advertising
hallelujah it's the work of crucified
reminding us of all of his suffering
I guess we for got I guess we for got
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20. |
Vampires
02:40
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baby let’s write a screenplay
how hard can it be
they just want more tv show
about vampires
we’ll mash up all the cliches
we’ll add a president
we’ll take fashion models
to mars to fight vampires
we’re living the dream
finally living the dream
we made it mom
we hope you’re proud of us
we’re fighting vampires
let’s go shed some blood
how hard can it be?
2 starving screenwriters
becoming vampires
they’ll pay us to write the script
and maybe we’ll play ourselves
we'll finally be famous
for being vampires
we’re living the dream
finally living the dream
we made it mom
we hope you’re proud of us
now that we're vampires
we’re living the dream
finally living the dream
we made it mom
we hope you’re proud of us
now that we're vampires
we made it mom
we hope you’re proud of us
now that we're vampires
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21. |
Fever
01:31
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I never make a sound
my father would be proud
I came in through the window
above a poorly painted porch
she slept without a sound
her mother would be proud
I woke her with a whisper
I just wanna hold you baby
under water for 5 minutes
maybe 6, not more than seven
do girls get into Chinese heaven
crimes scenes must be fun to analize
motives can be hard to realize
i'm just a stranger here to kill you
I wish I had a choice
just read a book entitled “free will” (by Sam Harris)
and it convinced me I have none
but couldn't tell me why I have to kill
or why it's always so much fun
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22. |
She Got the Vinyl
03:00
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She got the vinyl
I got the CDs
We split my dad’s cassettes
I own the car but
she hides the keys and
ransoms them for a ride
To see the doctor
To get some condoms
how many does she need?
cell phone’s in her name
Lease in my Mom’s name
but I’m moving out next week
she won’t store them right
she’ll scratch them all just to spite me
my best friend micha
fucked her friend mika
while riding to the mall
i failed to mention I was the driver
so i guess its my fault
Mika failed EPT
Micah failed STD
they’re gonna have an AIDS baby
well i knew
when she left
that i’d fall apart
but i know she’ll be back
be back with my heart
the hum
the hiss
her beautiful face
she won’t store them right
i’ll never find sticky fingers
or maybe worse
she’ll donate them to a thrift store
she was the first to ____
though she was not the best
she said that i could _____
but then she took it back
she gave me head from bedford to breezewood
she nearly made me bleed
she’s not the first girl I’ve come in cars with
but i hope that she’s the last
well i knew
when she left
that i’d fall apart
but i know she’ll be back
be back with my heart
the hum
the hiss
her beautiful face
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23. |
Gather Around II
02:19
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Everybody gather around it's the end
They say I'm dying
Everybody gather around it's the end
The tests are in and the doctors say
they'll bury me in a year
Everybody gather around it's the end
Did I miss the point?
Don't wait til the end
To say you love me
don't wait til the end
to tell me that you care
and don't til we're high
to forgive me
there's really no time
no time to spare
did I miss the point?
Don't wait til the end
Everybody gather around it's the end Today's my day to die
Everybody gather around it's the end
The tests were wrong and the doctors say
they'll bury me in a week
Everybody gathers around in the end
did I miss the point?
don't wait til the end
To say you love me
don't wait til the end
to tell me that you care
and don't til we're high
to forgive me
there's really no time
no time to spare
did I miss the point?
Don't wait til the end
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24. |
Ryan Gosling
01:07
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Why dont you fuck me and make me famous
i'm sick and tired of paying my dues
Why dont you fuck me and make me famous
ryan gosling i'm talking to you
acting is exhausting
some say i'm just no good
auditions are insulting
here in hollywood
so Why dont you fuck me and make me famous
i'm sick and tired of paying my dues
Why dont you fuck me and make me famous
ryan gosling i'm talking to you
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25. |
Crimea
03:57
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I think I knew this day would come
but I never thought I'd be here for the end times
They tried to warn us when we were young
that we could be the soldiers of the end times
Seems I'm on the losing side of history
I guess I never truly solved that crazy ancient mystery
funny how i'm thinking of you now
love of my life time in these fucking KC left behind times
Before they close that airplane door
I wanna know how much you love me
Before we all go off to war
I wanna know how much you love me
I'm gonna answer my country's call
Me and my friends will take the lives of other men and their friends
We're gonna make our fathers proud
may our mothers please forgive us
this fight was handed down
Before they close that airplane door
I wanna know How much you love me
Before we all go off fight to another rich man's war
I wanna know how much you love me
no matter what happened before
no matter what happens after our deity's divine disaster
streets of gold or lake of fire
my love won't tire, Crimea, my heart is yours
Before they close that airplane door
I wanna know how much you love me
Before we all go off to war
I wanna know how much you love me
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Campfire Cassettes Los Angeles, California
Campfire Cassettes is a 4 piece party that writes short, fucked up songs, for short fucked up people. So if you like rough sex, hard drugs and aren't afraid of a little blood, you're in the right spot. May we die in our sleep with a smile on our face.
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